he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
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My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
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I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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