And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
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it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
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... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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