peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize