***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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