can we get nightvision for the apartment?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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