we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
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My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
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Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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