i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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