He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
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i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
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Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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