do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
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When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
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I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
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