Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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