my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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