She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
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We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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