It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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