I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize