4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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