I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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