It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize