i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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