Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize