I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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