ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
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you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
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preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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