it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize