the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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