We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
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