i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize