First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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