I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize