My balls are so social today.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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