I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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