she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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