well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
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