You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
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As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
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How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I think your dad took our porno
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
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