I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
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