DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
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