Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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