cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize