i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
My feet surprised me
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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