yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
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