so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
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I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
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You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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