so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
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i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
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Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
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