i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
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