Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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