Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
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