how can u be prego again
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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