just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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