After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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