we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
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This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
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I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
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