FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
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oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
you had me at cake vodka
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I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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