He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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