Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room

(248): View more from Michigan

Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65

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(248): Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room (248): Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65 http://tfl.nu/zat2

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(402): View more from Nebraska

I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.

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(402): I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed. http://tfl.nu/mbr1

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside

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(724): I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside http://tfl.nu/gfts

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(507): View more from Minnesota

Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.

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(507): Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over. http://tfl.nu/ztri

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(561): View more from Florida

definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?

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(561): definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful? http://tfl.nu/v0si

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(402): View more from Nebraska

On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.

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(402): On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms. http://tfl.nu/59ye

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(303): View more from Colorado

She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.

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(303): She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it. http://tfl.nu/nwdc

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(310): View more from California

Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"

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(310): Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god" http://tfl.nu/2xo4

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(208): View more from Idaho

the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.

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(208): the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player. http://tfl.nu/khif

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(432): View more from Texas

This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.

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(432): This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire. http://tfl.nu/8ui6

Replies (10) Good night (2075) Bad night (995)
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(708): View more from Illinois

Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.

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(708): Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good. http://tfl.nu/6ter

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"

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(413): weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories" http://tfl.nu/0nvt

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.

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(814): Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud. http://tfl.nu/jy38

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(915): View more from Texas

People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.

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(915): People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling. http://tfl.nu/el49

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(940): View more from Texas

I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast

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(940): I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast http://tfl.nu/e3ki

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